I've just passed the halfway point.
Today is day 47 of the European leg of my gap year. I've been to 6 countries and 17 cities so far, and I have some thoughts, anecdotes, lessons learned, and other ramblings to share.
Firstly, and this is the only travel cliché I'll mention, but I think it's important to reiterate:
We are all human.
On this trip, I've met people of all ages, from all corners of the globe. From Perth to Amsterdam, from Manchester to Sydney, Rio de Janeiro to Tazmania, Germany to Chile, the list goes on. I've been able to find connections and make friends with tons of people that - if I was still living sheltered back in Boston and hadn't traveled - I may have been more hesitant to open myself up to. Not once have I been unable to associate or connect with them like I would anyone else, even if they're from a completely different location or generation or culture. After all, we're all children at heart, and we're all fundamentally curious about the world. Admittedly, speaking English is a massive blessing when it comes to solo travel, and I'm lucky because English makes it easy to connect with most people I've met abroad.
Modern issues like political polarization now seem a bit trivial and immature. Being the "American," I've ended up talking a lot about the political situation of my country with people I meet. In Europe - though this is a generalization in itself - I've found that people are a lot less quick to judge you based on your political beliefs. Or maybe it's just that in the U.S. right now, this is extra present. Regardless, I don't think it would matter whether I was left-leaning or right-leaning, people here would hear me out, like I do for them. On my travels, I've had conversations about communism and veganism and other "controversial" viewpoints, and after each conversation I can really see where the person is coming from. Keeping an open mind is something that is super important, especially in the modern day, where people are becoming increasingly closed off. The thing is, you don't have to travel and meet people from across the world to discover this, it's all about changing your mindset. I will try and take this outlook on new people that I've cultivated over the past 47 days back home to Boston with me.
The Lady With The Red Dress
Here's another thought.
Finding friends abroad is a special thing: they bring entertainment, comfort, and a sense of community for a few days while you're alone in a new city, which is an amazing feeling. However, the nature of travel is that you always have to leave, which means you end up saying a LOT of goodbyes. I believe that it's basic human nature to grow attached to people that bring you comfort, and any friendships you make while alone abroad accomplish exactly that. So in a way, I've been learning how to avoid growing attached. Going back to my note about how we're all human, once you introduce yourself and learn about another person abroad, you will never fail to find interesting and unexpected connections between you. Getting invested in their lives is exciting, and deepens the connection, but again, it makes the goodbyes a little more difficult. After enough repetitions of this emotional rollercoaster, it can grow a bit tiring. So my somewhat-controversial piece of advice is to always remember - in the back of your mind - that you most likely won't ever see that person again.
Have fun in the moment, find connections and comfort, experience a new destination with new friends, and make memories that will last a lifetime; but don't grow too attached and expect relationships to continue once you leave.
A Parisian Waltz
Ok, as a little break between the ethical yap segments, here are some solo travel tips I've made note of so far:
Use Hostelworld to find hostels, but book them from their own website. This saves you a couple euros.
Unless it's in high demand, WAIT to book the hostel until you’re on the train to the right destination.
With a Eurail pass, book seat reservation trains EARLY (at least a day in advance), because they are very limited. I learned this the hard way.
Don’t buy multi-day metro passes. It’s a waste, and it's better to just pay for each ticket individually. Don't be afraid to walk everywhere.
For long distance trains (TGV, etc), get there 15 minutes early, so you have space to put your bags down. Again, I learned this the hard way.
If you're using the hostel laundry machines, do it late at night, they're almost always empty.
Have 2 small towels: 1 for drying off toiletries after a shower before putting them back in your bag, the other exclusively for your face - in a shared bathroom, keep the towel around your neck so it doesn't get dirty.
Hang your large towel to dry on the end of your bed, it acts as a curtain and dries overnight.
TooGoodToGo pastry bags are perfect breakfasts that will last your whole stay in a city.
If you have the opportunity to use the bathroom for free, take it. Most public restrooms cost up to 2 euros.
Having a filtered water bottle saves you so much money on buying water.
I should've packed one larger backpack, instead of my 2 medium-sized ones. You can get by with a large bag and a day pack, having 3 bags total is way too much.
Wanderer
I sometimes ask myself, do I feel homesick? Should I?
I know that in the grand scheme of things, 47 days is a mere blink, but due to all the novelty I've been experiencing day in and day out, it has felt like a very long time. And yet, I don't really find myself yearning for home. Of course I miss my family and friends, but I think traveling has changed my outlook on comfort. You really don't need much to live comfortably, and it's only when that is taken away that people start to yearn for home. I realize now that the most important thing is to feel safe. When I'm at a hostel that is dirty and uncomfortable, it's much less of an issue than if the hostel doesn't have lockers for my bags or a good social environment. What I'm trying to say is that I don't feel homesick because staying at a good, comfortable hostel is starting to feel like home to me.
I've met a couple people who have been traveling for over a year consecutively, and I can see now how easy and enticing it is to just keep moving. The world is absolutely enormous, and there's so so so much I still want to see (my bucket list has expanded by orders of magnitude while I've been abroad). It's also super easy to travel for cheap, you just have to fundamentally lower your expectations. So I think what's stopping people is the lack of stability. I say, screw that and go for it! You'll be surprised how you can adapt and feel comfortable in new situations.
A solo traveler I met the other day - with a very interesting life story - said to me "there are no rules." Such a simple phrase, but it's so true. You can really live your life however you want, there are always going to be ways of achieving what you want to do, so don't let fear of insecurity stop you.
Believe
To round it off, here is a list of a few other random things I've learned. I have a running list going, whenever I learn something that seems funny or notable, I try to remember to add it to the list.
Some things I've learned:
All the necessary French curse words.
How to use a wine bottle opener.
The side cargo pocket in my pants is perfect for a half eaten baguette.
To always zip my laptop sleeve.
The differences between techno, jungle, and UK garage, in Berlin.
The Airalo eSIM doesn’t work in Andorra (even though it says it does).
Saying “chapeau” means to acknowledge someone (to tip your hat).
You can go to school at Disney World to get your Mousters or Duckterate.
French onion soup is the classic French hangover cure.
N.F.N. - Normal for Norfolk.
M.A.M.I.L. - Middle Aged Man in Lycro.
You can get a FHA loan in the U.S. for first time homeowners.
Say "Wiesn", not "Oktoberfest," to show you know what's up.
Other things I won't mention.
The Climb
My last note is that I started a Substack - basically a social media for essays and blogs - where I have copied over all my previous blog posts from this website. From now on, I'll be publishing each new post on Substack as well as here on this website. The benefit of this is that you'll be able to subscribe for free to my publication, and get an email each time a new post goes live, so that you never miss what I get up to. You can also leave likes, comments, and messages for me under each post!
When I made the Substack, I realized that I had never actually come up with a name for this blog. On this website, I've always left it nameless, just referring to it as "the blog." After much thought, I came up with the name A Year In Between. I think it fits.
The one small difference I've found between this website and Substack is that there is no way to add headings to a Substack post. This means the banner images at the top of each entry will remain a www.marktytell.com exclusive!
Correfoc de la Mercè
I didn't want this entry to be all text, but I wasn't sure which images to use. I ended up going with a few of my favorite horizontal street photographs from this first half.
Right now, I'm in Florence. I've been loving Italy, it is such an amazing country, and I've traveled around to a bunch of its different cities, more than I've done in any other country on this trip. I'll probably publish the next entry once I arrive and settle down in Rome, in about a week.
Here's to a second half that's as good, if not better than the first!
Mark