Closure?

It all kind of feels like a dream.

I've been back home for about 2 weeks now, and I fell right back into the routine of my old, familiar life almost instantly. It's a bit frightening, because I find it difficult to remember day-to-day moments from these past 3 months, even though they felt novel and memorable at the time, and weren't even that long ago! I totally didn't expect to feel this way, it caught me off guard, and I think it will take a while for the reality of what I've done to actually sink in. Maybe it will always feel like a dream. I can't really explain this phenomenon - I don't know if it has a name - but it's why I've waited so long to write this entry.

Anyways, I realize now how much I needed these couple weeks of intermission to recuperate. After Tbilisi, I was tired and a bit burnt out from travel, and so I think I picked a good time to call it and head back to Boston; I don't want new places to go to waste or to lose their magic just because I'm tired of traveling.

Being back home, spending quality time with my family and friends, and basically just doing nothing all day, has given me some much-needed rest. I'm starting to come out of the other end of it, planning the next leg of my gap year with that familiar sense of wanderlust again. Just 2 weeks ago I was so done and thought I'd never want to travel again anytime soon, but now I'm eager to get going again, which is why I think it's time to finalize my time in Europe by writing this entry. Oh, and since I didn't want this post to be all text, I figured I'd include some photos from my time here at home.

Yard work

I've thought a lot about what I should write in this entry. Towards the end of my trip, I would even lie in bed at night with words and ideas floating around in my head, keeping me awake.

I should start off by saying that consistently writing this blog has been extremely fulfilling for me. I may have met many interesting people, visited tons of cool places, and created some neat photography, but the thing that grounded it all was writing. Getting all of my thoughts and experiences down in one final, polished entry freed my mind up for the next location, and kept me motivated throughout the trip. Now, having come back to my normal life and feeling like I just woke up from a blurry, 3-month dream, I can look back at a detailed recollection of my experiences and feel proud to know that nothing will really be forgotten.

I wrote these entries for me, but it's also been a great bonus to hear feedback from everyone who reads them! Each time that I'm able to transform abstract thoughts about my experiences into a concrete piece of work, it feels like a bit of magic; it feels even better when people that I care about are invested in my experiences. So I'm approaching this entry as an extension to my previous Halfway Ramblings, sharing some more thoughts and musings from my time abroad.

Firstly, has solo traveling changed me?

I think the obvious answer would be yes, but it's more complicated than that. It's too soon to really tell, I think, but as I said before I'm surprised by just how quickly I fell back into my routine here in Boston. Sometimes, I can't help but think it was all for nothing, given that my life here looks very similar to how it was before I left.

That being said, I've definitely built a more worldly perspective. Especially in this day and age, where bias and misinformation are more common than ever, it's important to get out and actually experience different cultures. In that sense, I have changed, and I'm sure this broader perspective will make its presence known in unexpected ways moving forward.

More personally, another example of how I might have changed comes from these blog posts. It might not be that apparent to people who aren't me, but if I go back and read some of my earlier entries, they feel way different than my later ones. My writing got longer and more spread out as I traveled, and more importantly, what I chose to place emphasis on has definitely evolved over time. There were a couple phases of this trip where this change is the most apparent. Amsterdam was my honeymoon phase, where everything still felt like a vacation, and it was my first foray into writing this blog. If I could write it again I would probably approach it differently, but it's alright because it was a learning experience. Also, in Berlin I wrote about feeling lonely and kind of played it up a bit. However, the feeling wasn't that bad, now that I think about it, and I'd probably change the tone of the entry. Yet it taught me to write more honestly, and from then on the blog took off; I got into a rhythm and was creating work I'm really proud of.

Also, I think that everyone should try traveling solo at some point. It has made me feel more alive than ever before, living in the moment every single day and truly appreciating life. The moments that stick with me the most now - moments that defined my trip - were the spontaneous social adventures with friends I'd only just met. From climbing mountains to stumbling upon a devil firework show to taking a Vespa roadtrip, I'm grateful to have made so many memories like that, with so many cool people. But if I'm being honest, the majority of my time I felt alone. Sometimes, especially earlier on, the loneliness got to me, and I wished for some more stability. Over time, I started learning how to be comfortable with myself. Having passion for things like this blog and photography kept me motivated, but it was the fact that I was making this dream come true for myself that made me comfortable being alone most of the time. I hope that makes any sense. I'm still not perfect, but becoming comfortable with doing things alone has probably been the most important lesson for me from this trip.

So yeah, I reckon I have changed. Probably.

Homemade pumpkin pie

In Halfway Ramblings, I mentioned that I'd been keeping a running list of things I've learned. I recommend everyone should do this when you travel, because it's easy to forget these things in the moment. If you write them down, it can make it hilarious to look back on. So here are some of the new things that I've learned since then.

I've learned:

How to actually consistently open a door with a real key
The Porta Santas (holy doors) of the 4 basilicas in Rome only open every 25 years
Ski Aggu is a musical genius
Disc golf is the 3rd most popular sport in Finland
Always turn off your VPN when booking tickets to sites or museums
When taking the metro by credit card, don’t forget to tap OUT
Even if a cactus doesn’t look like it has spikes, it most definitely does
Crocodiles have visible lower teeth when their mouth is closed, alligators + caimans do not
If you murder someone in the sliver of Yellowstone that's in Idaho, there's a legal loophole where you can’t assemble a jury, and thus you can never be convicted
Drinking games: higher lower, umbrella, king's cup, horse racing
Finnish people buy their alcohol in Tallinn
Before paying, always check that public laundry machines work, are empty, and actually CLOSE 😤
Dunkin Donuts in Georgia sells khachapuri
I actually like my 3-bag setup, it has grown on me

Tofu

Maya

Now, let's talk about how much this all cost. I want to be totally transparent, because travel can be much cheaper than a lot of people expect (even though I finished a bit over-budget). I kept a detailed spreadsheet of all my expenses on the trip, and I'll share the results here.

Firstly, before I even made it to Europe, there were many initial costs I had to cover. This includes practically anything I bought with the remote idea of a gap year in mind. From the obvious ones like travel backpacks, an e-sim data plan, and power adaptors, to a filtered water bottle and even pants, microfiber towels, and AirTags. It may seem like a lot, but everything here - in what I deemed the "other" category - totaled to $1,700 USD. I view this stuff as an investment, since much of what is in this category could be used on other future travels.

Then, there's transportation. This includes all of the plane tickets, my Eurail 3-month continuous pass, and many other seat reservations, bus tickets, Lime scooters, etc. This came out to just over $2,600 USD.

I was lucky enough to be able to stay in some free accommodation along the way, but I still spent the majority of my time in hostels. All told, I spent about $2,550 USD on accommodation.

Lastly, there are the daily expenses. Food, activities, and other random day-to-day costs, which formed the bulk of what I had to record in my spreadsheet each day. This came out to $3,500 USD.

All of this totals to $10,350 USD, or about $113 USD per day. Definitely not nothing, and I could have easily traveled cheaper by picking less-ideal hostels, or skipping some restaurant meals, but at the end of the day I'm still happy with this number.

Oh, and an interesting note is that by constantly checking my finances and Fidelity's automatic currency conversions, I could actively see the dollar getting stronger and weaker over time. Only by a few cents each way, but still, it was pretty crazy to witness.

Victory

92 days. 14 countries. 30 major cities. It's been a wild ride.

I've been planning this for years - I started saving money as a freshman in high school - and now it's actually done. My time in Europe was always what I was most looking forward to. Even when I knew I was taking a full year off, I still focused much more on this first half than on the second; and when I realized I'd start this blog to document my travels, it was always only with Europe in mind.

So, this entry feels like an ending, like the final chapter of a book. Honestly, I'm not really sure if I'll continue writing this blog at all for the second half of my gap year (which I'll be spending in New Zealand and Australia). If I do keep writing, it most likely won't be in the same way that I've been doing it so far. But who knows? After all, it's been so fulfilling, so I could definitely see myself starting it up again. No promises though.

So yeah, that's it for now. I figured I'd make a banner compiling some of my favorite moments from these past 3 months, and all I can say now is thanks to everyone I met along the way, and everyone who's supported me throughout this process!